How to Get People Talking

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Austin Kleon just wrote a post thinking through if there was a set of questions for creative people that are always interesting? It’s a great idea.

There was a time I had to figure out something similar. When I used to do house shows I would always perform an hour-long show with only 30 minutes of prepared material. The other half was always made up of stories I’d pull out of the audience.

At a house show, you are in the most intimate setting possible: someone’s living room. There are (hopefully) 20 to 30 people sitting right in front of you, the comedian, and so it’s the perfect environment to turn your audience into performers.

But how do you get people talking? At first, I thought if I told a funny story I could then just open the floor so anyone else could throw out a story on a similar theme. I’d tell my first kiss story and then say “does anyone else have a good one?” But that NEVER worked. No one wanted to offer up a story. Or at least no one thought their experience was a strong enough story to deserve the spotlight. People would come up to me after shows and tell me these stories and I’d get so frustrated. Why didn’t you say anything when I asked?!

So then I had to start tricking people.

I wouldn’t tell people I was going to get them to tell stories. I’d say I wanted to get to know them as an audience. “Raise your hand if any of these are true about you.” And then I’d ask a series of “has anyone here ever…” type questions. If someone raised their hand, I’d ask them to elaborate.

Boom. Got em! People didn’t have time to evaluate if their story was good enough. They didn’t even know they’d have to share the story. They were just raising their hand. But once I called on them, they couldn’t back down. They admitted there’s a story! Now they have to share.

I started to keep a list of questions I could ask any audience, knowing it would most likely lead to at least one good story.

Here are my most reliable questions:

 

Have you ever been on TV?

Have you ever left a job without quitting?

Have you ever had a near-death experience?

Have you ever bought something off tv?

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

 

If you’re in a group of at least 20 people and you need to get them to know each other, don’t have them go around the room telling fun facts about themselves. No one knows how to answer that. No one can judge the fun-ness of their own facts. Instead, ask questions like these. Call on people. If there’s a weird detail in their story that catches you off guard, ask another question about that.

You will be surprised by the answers. I promise.

Book Tour Continues in 2020!

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As the fall comes to a close I’m looking forward to getting back on the road in January. I’ll continue speaking in churches on the importance of vulnerability and I have a ton of dates still available! I’d love to come to your community and share this message.

Vulnerability is not just for rock bottom, it’s not a message just for youth, and it’s the beginning of AMAZING change found in Christ Jesus.

Learn more

Sylvester Stallone on a Horse

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I’m so tired. I have nothing interesting to say. But I told myself I was going to keep a daily blog for at least 90 days so I have to post something.

Here is a picture of Sylvester Stallone on a horse. I have this saved on my phone because I can’t stop staring at it. Look at him. Look at this. What is happening? It doesn’t look right, right?

It feels like it’s an optical illusion. That’s Stallone’s body photoshopped onto Kermit the Frog’s legs.

Is that a regular size horse? Nothing makes sense. What is truth?

Give Away Your Love

 

Find love and then give it all away

 

This is my favorite lyric from Clem Snide’s Find Love. It should be the motto of everyone in Christ. You have found the most incredible love you’ve ever experienced, and once you’ve received it, you need to give it all away.

There’s no reason to hoard your love anymore when you’re in Christ. You have this unlimited overflow from God so it’s not like you ever have to worry about it running out. You will never give away so much love, attention, care, joy, compassion, and have nothing left for yourself. You don’t have to save your love for just the people you know can reciprocate and give you back the same amount of love. You never have to worry about that again.

Give love to those who will never love you back.

Luke 6:32-36 says:

 

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

 

You have found the perfect love in Jesus. Now it’s time to give it all away.

What Everyone Should Memorize

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Lemony Snicket said:

 

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

 

I love this Lemony Snicket quote because it reminds me of my grandpa.

When I was a kid every time my grandpa would visit he’d always have a new joke, riddle, and magic trick to show me. It was always something I always looked forward to.

This is a great rule to live by. We should all have tricks and quotes in our back pocket just in case we need to fill a dull moment. Keep things interesting.

Over the last few days I’ve been trying to memorize Shakespeare’s To Be Or Not To Be speech from Hamlet for this very reason. I just want to have it up there in my brain rattling around in case it could ever be of use. Who knows. If nothing else it’s a nice brain exercise and it makes me feel more interesting.

Ira Glass and the Basics of Good Storytelling

This short clip of Ira Glass is such an important key to good storytelling.

A story is just a series of events. “This happened, which led to this, which led to this…”

That’s the only crucial element you can NEVER sacrifice. Everything else is extra. If you’re going to add emotions, humor, themes, lessons, rich descriptions, you have to make sure it doesn’t completely derail what makes the story a story.

It’s like a Christmas tree. The series of events is the actual tree. Everything you’re going to add to spice it up is decoration. You have to be careful with your placement because you don’t want to completely hide the tree. You also don’t want to put so much on that the tree falls over.

This happened, and then this, and then this, and then this. Keep the action moving. Take short pitstops to add some fun to the trip but never forget that the most important part is that you’re actually going somewhere.