I have no idea what I’m doing.
At the end of this summer I’ll get to celebrate one whole year of traveling as a comedian for my full time job. Up until that point it had just been something I did on the side. First it was a fun thing I did in college and then it became a side job while I worked as a part time youth pastor. And before all that it was just this far away pipe dream that seemed impossible.
I’m so glad I’ve never been asked to be a part of any sort of Q&A about following your calling because I don’t know if it would go well.
Q: When did you first feel a calling into ministry?
A: I was in the 8th grade. No joke. That’s when I knew.
Q: What did you feel a calling to do?
A: Something with traveling and Jesus? I didn’t know much. I just knew it was something.
Q: And how did you go from knowing that in 8th grade to actually doing that with you life?
A: I have no idea and if I think about it for too long I get freaked out. I don’t know how any of this happened. It kind of doesn’t make any sense at all.
Q: Why are you sweating so much all of a sudden?
A: I told you! If I think about this too much I FREAK OUT! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Q: I think we’ll have to end the Q&A there because Taylor has taken his shirt off and run out of the building crying.
I have no idea what I’m doing and I never had. I didn’t come up with a master plan in 8th grade and followed that step by step in order to get me here. When I was in 8th grade I was dead set on not going to college. I thought I didn’t need to take classes to learn about the Bible. I thought I knew it all already. WHAT AN IDIOT.
When God lays a dream or a calling on our heart we can get too concerned with the “how.” How in the world is this possibly going to happen?! But remember the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. God gave him a vision what would happen in the future. It took a lot of years, being sold into slavery, jail time, and a bunch of other seemingly random events in order for Joseph to find himself at the fulfillment of that dream.
You think Joseph made a 5 year plan that included running naked from his boss’ wife? I hope not. I really really hope not. That would be troubling news.
Am I saying planning is wrong? No. But don’t get so wrapped up and stressed out by it. We can look at Joseph’s story and know that above all we just need to be obedient in the little steps. That’s what’ll take us through our journey. Joseph was ready to do the right thing in all these little moments and that’s what got him to his destiny.
Don’t freak out. Be obedient.
I guess that’s what I need to keep telling myself.