Starting from scratch

I moved into an apartment last Friday. It feels like forever since I had my own place. Three years ago I moved out of my duplex and bought a minivan I slept in while I traveled the country. I put 140,000 miles on it, visited the Grand Canyon twice, survived 10 degree winters and 98 degree summers. It was a lot of fun but I’m glad it’s over.

Now I’m having to adjust back to apartment life. When I bought the van, I got rid of pretty much everything I owned. I sold all my books, dvds, furniture, and anything else that might be nice to have in a home.

That picture above is literally everything I owned when I moved in on Friday. That’s it. I had to buy a bed, a couch, a table, a little hand towel for the guest bathroom, cups, and anything else I could think of.

I’m starting from scratch.

It was daunting to look at the empty apartment because I knew just how much work it was going to take to make it feel like home.

Starting with nothing is always scary.

Blank room, blank page, blank canvas, blank stage.

“Where do I even start?!” It’s like I don’t allow myself to do anything until I come up with the PERFECT answer to that question. If I start on the wrong foot, I’m doomed, so it’s better to just NEVER START EVER.

This is what stops me from writing new stand-up material, working on new projects, writing an e-mail, or just committing to learn something new. I look at the big picture, the entirety of what I’m trying to do, and it’s too overwhelming.

Forget the big picture. Look at the little steps.

I’m not focusing on decorating my whole apartment. Right now I’m just focusing on buying a chair I can read in and a bookshelf I can put next to it. That’s all.

I’m not trying to write a book. I just want to write 1000 words today.

I’m not trying to get rock hard abs. I just want to finish this workout without barfing all over myself.

“Grow a forest” feels impossible but “plant a tree every day” sounds doable.

I’m excited about having my new apartment. I’m pumped about all the possibilities. I’ll have my own office to work in every day. I can build an in home studio to film videos. I can invite friends over (something you can never do when you live in a minivan).