Mister Rogers has a song called What Do You Do with the Mad that You Feel? It’s about all the different ways you can express your anger without taking it out on yourself or others.
What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong...
And nothing you do seems very right?
What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?
I love the question Mister Rogers is asking. What do you do with it? Not “do you have it?” It’s a given that all of us, every single person, is going to have some Mad. The real question is what are you going to do with it when it shows up, because it will show up. This isn’t just true with anger. "What do you do with the _____ that you feel?” There are a million things you can fill that blank with. What do you do with the sadness? Tragedy? Grief? Doubt? Confusion? Jealousy? Stress?
When you ask that question you’re able to skip ahead, breeze past the scary moment where you have to admit that you’re feeling that feeling in the first place. Look, we know you’re going to deal with it. We all are. Let’s just kick shame to the side and talk about HOW you’re going to deal with it.
The song is about how there are constructive and destructive ways to deal with the mad that you’re feeling. There are positive outlets, ways of releasing the built-up tension that are safe and helpful. If we don’t choose those avenues, it’s not like the mad just goes away. It’s going to come one way or the other.
In my book, In the Altogether, I talk about how vulnerability without hope is pointless. You have to believe change is possible if you’re ever going to see the value in opening up to someone. Why take the risk and let your walls down unless you have faith that something good can actually come from that? The truth is there’s incredible change available in Christ Jesus.
But…
We need to make sure we have good expectations for what that change might look like. If you work up the courage to confide in someone you trust about some issue or struggle, things will change. But will the change be that the issue goes away? I don’t know. Sometimes it will, and praise God for that. But sometimes the change be that now you have a new way of dealing with it when it shows up.
One of the biggest changes I’ve had in Christ is the answer to the question “What do you do with the depressed that you feel?” The feelings still show up, but I’m ready for them now. The whole experience is totally different. Do I keep it to myself? No. Do I deny I’m even experiencing it? Nope! I don’t have to anymore because of Christ.
Trusting Christ doesn’t mean you never deal with difficulties again. Yes, God can bring relief, and healing, and lift burdens, but sometimes He will show you how incredibly powerful He is by having you rely on Him and His church as you go through what you wish you could go around. He will give you new and better ways to deal with what life throws at you. That’s what shows off how incredible God is. Other people are going to see you going through the same things as them, but handling it totally differently, and they’ll be so blown away. How on earth are they doing that? Then you can point them to Jesus.
What do YOU do with what you deal with?